How to get effective without getting mean, mad or moody?

Mon 4th Oct 09

.....that is the question!

I didn't have a lot of time today and had already recognized that I was irritable (I'd allowed E to seriously rattle me and lost my cool!) So, I decided to go for the easy option and just go for a walk down the road.

It was raining, D was soaked and muddy so I didn't fancy putting the bareback pad on. Also didn't have time for "riding" so it didn't really matter. We warmed up with more porcupine, sideways and driving then set off slowly. D was a little RB at times but he flips so quickly you have to be on the ball the whole time in order to prevent the brace setting in. Fortunately, it's usually over quickly but then the diving at grass and hedges begins. This really got on my nerves today!

I confess, I was not as tolerant today and went too quickly through the phases a few times BUT - D seemed to respond pretty well considering. At times, I had the most lovely walk, head low, ears pricked, soft eyes. He was in the same frame of mind at times as he was by the end of the Essex course when I had to be "hard" on him to stay safe. He also did a lot less of the rope biting, face pulling (though this could be because he was less confident today).

I am noticing that there seems to be a cycle of:
1. LB pushy behaviour
2. I get a bit mean
3. D gets a bit RB
4. I work him harder
5. He gets softer and more obedient
6. I drop my guard
7. He gets more confident
8. He gets a pushy again

I found this on return from Essex...I have to scare D a bit to get respect. I really don't know how to pitch it at times as he can lose confidence so quickly over a couple of sessions (as with all horses) it's important to gauge it just right. I'll ask Terri!

So, back to the first question. How do I get effective without getting mean, mad or moody?

At the moment, I don't know the answer.....