Sat 4th Oct 09
Before I went up today I was feeling a bit frustrated as I hadn't been able to play with Duncan for 2 weeks. Our last play got me worried and thinking a lots and I couldn't wait ('though a bit apprehensively) to see how much had been "broken". Thinking sensibly, I didn't think I'd have to go back to square one - but I couldn't rest until I saw/felt for myself just where we were.
I didn't go out as didn't arrive until 5.45. I decided to concentrate on calm-assertive behaviour on my part and getting calm-submission from D and keep the patterns low-key. All went fairly well in the warm up - D was very keen to play - PTP, porcupine, touch it with back feet. He was stressed though as he kept yawning through all the games.
I did find myself getting a bit agitated as there was a concert going on at Hammerwood church with men in dayglo jackets directing traffic, an orchestra warming up and a gaggle of kids running round shrieking (tho' to be fair D didn't mind the kids!). I confess I thought "My one night and all this is going on! I'm not going to be able to get on D tonight" I managed to get a grip of myself and remind myself that it was all about the relationship not about whether I got on or not!!!
If I thought D was being calm-submissive, when I asked him to circle it became apparent he was not, he'd just been humouring me because it was easy! He objected strongly, doing his bronc act -head between legs - quite funny because his back end doesn't actually kick up much but I can see how you could fall off - one to remember!! He also stopped a couple of times and turned in defiantly. Fortunately I maintained my Cesar persona and he gave in quite quickly. I'm always surprised he doesn't make a good effort to leave actually, his resistance is pretty half-hearted (I'm glad to say!).
After this outburst, he remained at a higher alert state and took off a couple of times before I'd asked. I think there may be a little bit of anxiety there but there's a lot of LB behaviour going on - head low to the ground, head tossing, and trying to bite the rope to name a few! After getting a noce attitide circle in trot, I quit and went back to driving, yielding HQ then front end and porcupine. The eureka bit is coming soon, honest!
After all the above, D seemed pretty chilled so I thought I would do some mounting prep and just lie over today. After chilled flexions and FG, I lay over him. Up came his head and back came the tense look. I got off the block and did some falling leaf during which he was quite agitated and LBE but tense.
I don't know what the trigger for the eureka was but I'd been having a bit of an argument with D about me touching his face again - he won't tolerate it without jerking his head up in a very dominant way. Previously I'd tried ignoring it but lately I'd been getting very busy rubbing his face, going quiet when he kept still then removing my hand. This had been fairly successful but I guess but abscence always brings the old challenges out again. Today, I was tpuching then quickly adding pressure on the halter rope to get D to yield downwards before taking my hand off. He got it really quickly.
Well, as I got back on the block and D's head came up with that huge brace underneath his neck, I suddenly had the idea to get off and get him to porcupine down. Then I got back on the block and he stayed there!!! I jumped up and leaned over him, flexed his head round towards me, got off and walked backwards (v slow emergency dismount). He stayed totally chilled.
I did the same thing again a few times, porcupined his head down then jumped up & lay over. His expression truly seemed to be as if he was saying "Well why didn't you say that was what you wanted?!!" He seemed so relieved if that's not being too anthropomorphic. I sat down on the mounting block and almost had a little weep because I felt for him so much. I pulled myself together because I remembered Cesar and the fact that crying can make you a weak energy source!
I think I finished right there but it was quite a long time before D gave up trying to investigate me sitting on the block. I had to enforce my personal space a few times! It was dark by now and the whole family came across the field from S & S's bearing torches, going to the church. D looked on with interest while M, bold as ever, went over to say hello! Whilst I was chatting to Sarah, D began eating and I thought "Good, I can go home now!"
I still have a few more thoughts but it's past midnight so time for bed! The main thoughts are - Quote Cesar: "You create the behaviour you want" and "It doesn't matter what technique you use if your energy is wrong". Can't resit adding this other great Cesar quote: "You don't always get the dog (horse?!) you want, but you get the dog you need!" Love it!
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